


Catastrophy

by Grantairplane



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Grantaire & Éponine Thénardier Friendship, Grantaire Angst, M/M, Modern AU, One-Shot, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grantairplane/pseuds/Grantairplane





	Catastrophy

There were two things Enjolras had expected when entering Grantaire’s flat: a huge mess, and Grantaire himself.What he certainly had not expected was some kind of furry animal on the couch. He had found two things; a cat and a huge mess. Enjolras hadn’t really seen Grantaire as a guy who wanted a pet; in fact, he knew Grantaire hadn’t wanted a pet. So Enjolras had a good reason to be shocked by this discovery. 

Grantaire had always scoffed at the idea of ever getting married, having children or even something as small as owning a pet (Not that Enjolras was any different…). ‘Why should I?’, ‘Pets are useless’, ‘I don’t want a kid, ‘Jeez, appreciating your worry, but stop. I’m doing awesomely on my own’, ‘I don’t want someone who’d just tell me to clean up and stop going to bars, I like having my own rules and all that shit’. But Enjolras knew the real reason; Grantaire was incapable of imagining himself as a (good) pet owner, dad or partner(which was probably a good thing right now; his drinking could be a problem if he wanted children). He couldn’t see himself as responsible or good enough. Enjolras, who found his mindset unhealthy, wanted to tell the others or get him some kind of help, but (after a great deal of convincing) ended up respecting Grantaire’s wish to keep it between them. Grantaire claimed that he’d do better without everyone constantly being on his back ‘nagging about everything and stressing me out’

So the fact that Grantaire now apparently wanted a cat was a good sign, but Enjolras was for some reason slightly upset that he hadn’t told him first. Ridiculous, Enjolras didn’t own him and he wasn’t his partner either, so there was no reason for him to tell him.

But still…

“Grantaire?” He called, surprisingly not waking the cat (and even though he didn’t even like cats, he was happy he didn’t wake up the furry ball of bloodthirst). The response came almost immediately.

“Here!” Grantaire rushed down the stairs, almost falling over, and grinned at him “You didn’t knock?”

Enjolras shook his head. “No, I always knock. You didn’t answer the door, so I entered. You never minded having me here before, besides, I had to check that you weren’t passed out drunk in the bathroom.”

Grantaire blinked and, judging from his expression, decided it was an acceptable answer. “You’ve met Cat?”

“I’ve met the cat” Enjolras corrected.

“She’s my new kid, and no, you can’t help me name her!”

Enjolras raised an eyebrow “wha-"

“Hey don’t be mad or upset, we both know you’d name her Patria, or France or something” Grantaire explained, Enjolras just sighed, he couldn’t really protest. “Besides, I already gave her a name; Cat”

The blond was speechless for once; he just stared at the other as if he had declared that an UFO had landed on the roof of the building. “Oh… You didn’t name your cat Cat…” he sighed “Did you?"

“Yes I did!”

“No one will take that seriously”

“Of course they will! Courf thought it was a great name. So did Marius!"

"Marius thinks stalking someone is an appropriate way of showing affection"

"But he’s smart, he got good grades and everything!"

"That doesn’t mean he has common se-"

"And I thought of a last name too!" Grantaire interrupted. 

Even though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it (and possibly loose some braincells), Enjolras nodded.

“It’s Astrophy” As Enjolras didn’t say anything; Grantaire decided he had to explain it. “Y’know, Cat Astrophy, Catastrophy”

“I got that, but that’s just a …strange name for a cat” Enjolras said, deciding that telling him how much he wanted to roll his eyes at that name wouldn’t do any good, especially not because the name (and the cat) seemed to make Grantaire a lot happier than usual.

“It’s not” Grantaire said, as he sat down next to Cat and stroked the fur on her back lightly. “Don’t listen to that guy, he’s just a meanie” He told the cat in some kind of baby-voice.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. He did not sit down next to this creature. “So you’re not keeping her, are you?”

“What a silly question, of course I am, she’s my daughter” Grantaire exclaimed.

“She’s a CAT”

“She’s not A cat, she’s Cat”

“A cat can’t be a human’s child, we both know that”

Grantaire laughed. “Of course she can, she even looks like me”

“I’ll admit, some of her fur has the same color as your hair, but she also has white and blonde spots”

“Obviously, she wouldn’t just look like me, she has two parents” Grantaire joked.

“And who is the other?”

“Damn, I didn’t expect you to ask… Uh, you can be a father?” Grantaire suggested, rubbing his neck.

“I’m not her father, and you can’t just take in a random stray cat, you have to take her to the vet”

“How did you know she’s a stray cat? And they won’t take her back, ‘cause that’s where I got her”

Great. “…alright then” Enjolras sighed and sat down as far away from the cat as possible. He was absolutely certain that it would: a, bite him, b, scratch him, c, hurt him in some different way, or d, all of the above. Oh experience, what a lovely thing.

“So, are you gonna eat here today?” Grantaire asked. Before Enjolras had the time to answer he was up and making his way to the small (surprisingly clean) kitchen. “Awesome!”

“How come I never make the food? I have been here quite a lot lately”

“You’re the guest” Grantaire began. “And I’d have to pay for the damage when you burned down the flat, and probably my neighbor’s flat too”

“That is not tr-“

“I swear, Enjolras, you could burn salad”

He did not protest, instead, he just stared at the carpet. It wasn’t really a fascinating carpet, he decided after a while.

“FUCK” Grantaire yelled, and Enjolras decided it was time to go check if everything was alright in there.

There were eggs all over the floor, and Grantaire was on his knees trying to dry it. Enjolras shook his head quietly and opened the fridge, only to find a whole lot of beer and a couple of apples. “Please tell me this isn’t all your food”

“It is” Grantaire mumbled.

"What do you eat?"

Grantaire didn’t answer.

"Do you eat apples every day?"

"…takeaway" he admitted. “And frozen pizzas. I keep some real food, in case…" He didn’t finish the sentence. “I’m ordering pizza, you have to look after Cat”

“Why would I have to do that? Shouldn’t they take it here?”

“The pizzeria is right next to the building, it takes 15 minutes, top. If I walk”

“Fair enough”

“So, you have to catsit Cat”

“N-“

“Pleaseeee?”

“I’m allergic to cats!” Enjolras protested.

The other was not convinced. “No you’re not. You weren’t allergic to Combeferre’s cat”

“That one doesn’t count, that cat cannot be normal”

“You’re right” Grantaire admitted. “That cat is pretty strange. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that it tried to eat you”

“It did”

“The point is; you’re not allergic and Cat is nice”

“No, cats are awful. I yet have to meet one cat who never attempted to harm me-“

“Enjolras, you are more ferocious than this cat”

And before Enjolras had time to argue, Grantaire had left the flat and left him alone with that… creature.

—

Enjolras hated animal abuse and he was a vegetarian, therefore, everyone assumed he absolutely loved animals. Surprisingly, he would rather not be in the same room as any kind of animal (except maybe fishes or birds, if those counted) at all. Bad things happened when he was left alone with animals.

That was a lie.

Bad things happened whenever he was closer than a hundred feet to an animal, even if there were other people around.

Animals hated him for some reason. It was terribly unfair. There he was, spending a lot of his time fighting animal testing (and other forms of abuse) and they thanked him by biting, scratching or attempting to eat him. Yeah, thanks, that is a great way of showing your appreciation.

He looked over at the cat. It was staring at him and purring. Was that the I-want-to-scratch-you-expression, the I-want-to-eat-you-expression, the I-want-to-murder-your-family-expression or the I-want-to-be-cuddled-and-petted-expression? Enjolras had no idea, and he’d rather not find out. With his luck, it was probably one of the three first, or all of them.

Animals hated him for some reason. It was terribly unfair. There he was, spending a lot of his time fighting animal testing (and other forms of abuse) and they thanked him by biting, scratching or attempting to eat him. Yeah, thanks, that is a great way of showing your appreciation.

The cat purred.

Enjolras sighed.

The cat got closer to him.

Enjolras stared at it.

And suddenly it was on his lap, rubbing its head on his stomach.

Well… that was certainly unexpected.

He kept staring at her. Enjolras realized that he had no idea what to do in a situation like this. Hesitantly, he petted her head lightly. This was probably the first animal in years that hadn’t attacked him, which made him both worried (hey, she could be planning to murder him right now!) and …warm? And the fact that it - she – made Grantaire so happy didn’t exactly bother him either.

Enjolras thought about the genuine smile on Grantaire’s face while he held the cat in his arms, and how happy he had seemed when he stroked the fur on her back gently. The thought filled him with mixed feelings. On one hand, he was happy and seeing Grantaire so happy made him feel happy too, and proud of the fact that he’d gotten so far. The man he’d seen today didn’t resemble the man who’d sat on the very same couch and argued that his parents’ verbal abuse was justified. ‘It’s true though…’, ‘He never said a word about me that was not true’, ‘if I had only tried harder’, ‘…I was a stupid kid after all’, “They just confirmed everything I already knew about myself. Parents should be honest, right?” He thought about how Grantaire visibly flinched whenever he got close during a discussion and how he would raise his arms in front of his head, as if to protect himself.

On the other hand, there was an empty ache in his chest. He should be happy that Grantaire was getting better; the cat probably helped him in some way. And it didn’t hate him, which was a plus. So the cat wasn’t bad. In fact, it was great. So why wasn’t he happy?

Maybe it had something to do with the (probably more than hundred) occasions where he was hundred percent sure an animal had tried to land him in a hospital.

Example one: Combeferre’s cat from HELL

Example two: the horse who tried to bite off his fingers when he fed it.

Example three: that one time he had to skip school, as he spent the first hours hiding in a tree to avoid (hungry and evil) dog.

Example four: A bird tried to hack him into pieces.

Were any more examples really necessary?

He stroked the cat, trying to avoid hurting it or making it uncomfortable in any way (pretty much; he avoided anything that could provoke it). And because the cat was a she, he tried to make himself think of it- her- as a she. And maybe – just maybe – it had something to do with the fact that Grantaire had specifically told him that Cat wasn’t the cat. CAT. SHE. HER. Couldn’t be too difficult to remember.

(Stuff he was not supposed to call t- Cat:

\- The creature

\- Evil furball from hell

\- it

\- furry ball of bloodthirst)

It was (another) ridiculous reaction, but the fact that this cat hadn’t tried anything yet made him feel like he was about to cry or laugh or something. Just the shock, probably.

He did neither of those things. He just stared at i-her in disbelief.

Cat got up again and curled up in his lap. Enjolras was now seriously wondering if she was planning on hurting a part of his body that he’d rather keep.

—

There were two things Grantaire had expected to find when he returned to his own flat; Enjolras and Cat. Yeah, he’d expected Enjolras to be sitting on the edge of the couch (as far away from Cat as possible) and Cat just being plain adorable. To be fair, he was right to some extent. Cat was being adorable. Surprisingly enough, she was adorable in Enjolras lap.

How the hell did she manage to do that!? Grantaire probably couldn’t even hug him without being fed to a lion, glared at (that was physically painful, Grantaire swore) or having a glass thrown at him (okay, Enjolras hadn’t done that… yet).

Enjolras looked up at him as the door closed with a loud slam. Damn wind.

“So… You’re keeping her?”

Grantaire nodded slowly. What the hell was this? Could Enjolras actually like this cat?

Impossible.

But on the other hand… he had the cat in his lap, and he did pet it.

“I mean ‘Ponine doesn’t mind and… I don-… uh… yeah”


End file.
